all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
