Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
