I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
