I was born with a shot glass in my hand
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
