is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
