I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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