I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
