Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize