oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
