I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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