Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize