1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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