We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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