She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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