Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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