I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
