No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
