i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
