You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Too much gin, very little bucket
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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