I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
