If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
