I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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