drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
