Pappa wants mamma naked
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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