Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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