I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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