I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
