You're so nebulous sometimes
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize