Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
