ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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