is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
