Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Ladies don't puke and tell
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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