i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
