He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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