I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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