I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
