We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
two words...techno handjob
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
