Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
