if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
