No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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