You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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