last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize