Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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