I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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