thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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