i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
