Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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