so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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