I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say š
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote āColleenās Dickāwith a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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