Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
