Apparently you make a good broom.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It's just like the Real World with babies
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
