yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
