her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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