I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
