we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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