I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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