ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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