i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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