just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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