should my penis look like a turkey
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
