okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
