Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
