Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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