I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
