spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
